I can vividly recall that day, in early Fall 1997, when I helped Mom + Dad pack the car up for a trip to the coast… first stop was Whistler, to help their dear friend celebrate her 50th, and then on to the island for some long anticipated ocean time.
Mom, summer 1997, in front of the flower boxes Dad built so that she could see them from the hospital bed we had in the family room when she was too weak to go upstairs.
Mom had just finished her umpteenth round of chemo and was so excited to have gotten the doc’s blessing to go on vacation… as she got settled in the passenger seat I hugged her, told her I loved her and that I hoped they had THE.BEST.TIME. … neither of us having any inkling that our hug + goodbye on the driveway that day would be my last with her.
One of the few blessings of disease is the forced acknowledgment that time is as precious as it is finite (only cliché because it’s so flippin’ true). Yesterday I watched an interview with Laura Dern, who was promoting the book she and her mom, Diane Ladd, have written… when Ladd was diagnosed with pesticide poisoning in 2019 the doctors said she’d only have 3 - 6 months to live and that the best ‘medicine’ for her was walking. And so the mom + daughter went for walks, and talked…really talked: from death to regrets to the times they argued over petty stuff. What an incredible gift - the time together and the talks - and, anecdotally, really good medicine too as Ladd continues to be as feisty as she’s always been.❤️ Laura says in the interview that she doesn’t think they’d have talked so openly nor shared as much had it NOT been for the diagnosis. #foodforthought
And then today I opened an email from Ryan Holiday that I think everyone should read… summarized, he reminds us that we can’t ever know when our interactions - or lack thereof - might be the last. Rather than finding this depressing, I think it’s a beautiful reminder to: acknowledge the email; say ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’; tell those who’ve inspired us how impactful their advice or encouragement was so they know the difference they’ve made in our lives… don’t wait for a ‘better’ or ‘more convenient’ time as all we have is the present moment. Holiday is much more articulate and so please read his blog linked above…but, you get the gist. 😉
Mom + me, mere weeks before she passed.
I often hear women lament why they’re putting off (or have written off 😬) portraits… common refrains of: when I lose weight, maybe when the kids’ hockey isn’t draining the bank account, I’m not photogenic... meanwhile, none of us are getting any younger, no one can know what tomorrow will hold, we spend an infinite amount more on consumables (daily Starbucks ring a bell for you?) than it costs for a lasting professional portrait, and our loved ones LOVE US exactly as we are. My mom didn’t like being in photos and so she avoided it, only acquiescing when someone insisted… man, do I wish we had a photo of her that she loved and I really wish SHE’D had the experience of an empowering portrait session resulting in a portrait SHE loved… for her to have seen the strong, beautiful, generous soul we all saw.
The chorus is real, people: don’t put off ‘til tomorrow that which will bring you or someone you care about joy today… say I love you more, call that friend you haven’t seen in a while, say thank you to those who have mentored or inspired you, and rejoice in the privilege of being able to so easily do all the above.
“For any of my women friends who are looking to have their portrait done, I can’t recommend Lori Maloney Photography enough!! Whether you want a sexy boudoir shoot or a headshot or to be in a place that makes your heart happy, Lori Maloney is the photographer for the job! Not only will you come away with images that will stir your soul, but you’ll be energized by her love and laughter.” ~ELP
Mother’s Day is May 14th… from the bottom of my heart I hope you’ll consider a portrait for yourself or a mom/motherly figure you love, let us all seize the day with something that is wonderfully not fleeting.
Reminder that the nomination window for the contest ‘for the love of moms 💞’ closes this Friday, May 5. It’s been sooo inspiring reading the submissions. ✨🙏🏼❤️ We also have gift cards available… honour the moms in your life with something that will empower her today and that will be treasured for years + generations to come. ⭕️
Carpe Diem.
xo Lori